Wtf is 'clean coal'?

 (Sunday night RANT, incoming.)

I’m appalled at the audacity of climate change deniers in their blatant subversion of the word ‘clean’. Tony Abbott telling you coal can be clean is like me telling you your car can also be a boat. Technically, and with enough cash, I’m sure that your car could somehow be converted to some sort of amphibious vehicle. Realistically though, it’s utter bollocks.

It’s very simple: there is literally no way of making coal ‘clean’.

‘Clean-ER’ coal, maybe. But even the most efficient coal-fired power stations are only achieving a 40% reduction of emissions compared to their most offensive counterparts. The cost of updating existing plants with new technology is astronomical, and financing such conversions will naturally fall upon the taxpayer; ironic when all ‘clean coal’ proponents seem to care about are the perceived financial benefits of low-cost power.

The other version of ‘clean coal’ is in these hyper-futuristic plants that capture and store all the emissions produced. Carbon dioxide gas is pressurised into a liquid and contained in drums, then transported to… well, somewhere, to be stored… well, indefinitely. Fossil fuel advocates (also known as ‘dickheads’) claim this to be an effective justification to continue burning coal.

But hold on, wait, lets back up a second - where the fuck do you store all of that sorry? And for how long? Until when? America’s consumption, for example, would see 30 million barrels of liquid CO2 per day! The foolishness of this proposition is almost comically self-evident.

Man I still don’t get how economics hasn’t ended the energy debate already. Burgeoning technology is always expensive and tends to be unreliable; in my opinion that was only coherent argument against renewables when such prospects first arrived on the table. But now the costs of entry have diminished significantly, and dependability only continues to increase. Not to mention the cost of establishing clean energy infrastructure is fully recoverable through infinitely ongoing savings!!!

I mean audacity, right?! “Clean coal” = transparent bullshit. Even the most obtuse Australian should be insulted by the assertion that they would fall for this nonsense.

I encourage everyone to write to Mr. Abbott explaining this information (reach him here).
I’m sure he’s heard it before but the poor guy is predictably having comprehension difficulties. Hopefully he doesn’t need to throw any more tantrums in Parliament; lord knows his reputation could do without it.